Please Don't Tell My Husband, But We're Moving
It all started about 3 years ago when our son graduated from high school and left home, college bound. I came to the realization that it was time for us to move. It wasn't so much that we needed to downsize, as we both have home offices and require additional space, but we needed a rearrangement of space. (Helpful hint: if both husband and wife work out of the home and you want to have a successful marriage, make sure your home offices are on separate floors. You can always text each other mid-morning and meet in the kitchen for a coffee break.) The main thing I wanted to accomplish with the move was to buy a home with the master on the main. After all, we're not getting any younger and the steps in a 2 story with a finished basement will be a problem at some point. All very logical, right?
Not quite. "Hubby" was not the least bit interested in moving. Have I mentioned that he and I are very different? I get bored very easily and absolutely love change. He hates change. Of course, we've been in our home for 19 years now, so it's not like we haven't put in our time here, but he sees no reason to move. ("Honey, when I can't navigate the steps, I'll sleep on the sofa in the family room. Don't worry about not having a full bath down there. I can wash in the sink. When I get sick and can no longer get out of bed, we'll just set up a hospital bed in the dining room. Not a problem." Get the idea?
I was drowning very quickly and needed to change my strategy. I had it! "Honey, you know we really should start updating our home. We need to make changes whether we move or stay, so let's begin making home improvements so that when we are ready to move, the house will be in great shape." It worked. In December of 2008 we began updating our home.
We had the deck refinished and stained, had hardwoods installed on the main floor, and replaced our ugly white laminate with granite counters in the kitchen. We were on our way! The only problem was that when we stopped to take a breather, my husband couldn't get over how much better the house looked and how great it would be to remain in it a long, long time while we enjoyed the updates. Uh, oh.
(This is getting too long so I need to move the story along. Back to updating our home.)
Since I am a home stager in Atlanta, I take it as a personal challenge to do everything right and make all the necessary changes so that when our home goes on the market it will sell quickly. If I can't do this for my own home, then I need to get out of the home staging business. We have made many changes since December of 2008 and I'll write several posts in a series on "Updating My Own Home." This is the first.
In the meantime, I have an important tip to pass along to those preparing to sell their homes: START EARLY!!! There are always surprises along the way to slow you down. Here was our first:
One day I noticed that there was buckling of the front door frame at the floor board. When I investigated, I saw that I could move the wall beside the door by 2-3 inches with my own hand. (No, I'm not a bodybuilder.) Long story short, we had to have the front door, door frame and rotten wood replaced. Surprise! This was not in our budget. I'm guessing there will be more surprises to come.
For now, just know that this Atlanta home stager and her husband are updating our home for the spring market, but please don't tell him.
Patsy Overton, ASP, CNRCP
Accredited Staging Professional * Certified Color Consultant
Patsy@SSSHomeStaging.com 770-843-2307 www.SSSHomeStaging.com
Patsy: Pretty sneaky..... but sometimes people need to be nudged in the right direction, for their own sake.
Patsy: Please post pictures of your improvements and staging for your home as it happens. It will be fun to follow your progress!
Matt - It's all about him!
Melissa - I certainly will. Thanks for your interest. It's going to be fun!
Could be that your husbands master plan is to let you update the house to the point where you really want to stay. You get the change, and he gets to stay. So if this is his plan, don't tell him I told you.
Brilliant, my dear. Good marriages require mastery of the end run! Please keep us posted as you make progress! :)
Nice points. I would have trouble moving if I had all the updates done as you did.
Patsy,
Funny story for sure. In 1986 my wife and I (and 4 sons) were going to buy a new home. She agreed to the move without even seeing it.
Enjoy,
Steve
I think you probably better tell him pretty soon. He might appreciate it.
Okay, Troy, your secret is safe with me. The only problem with your theory is that no matter what we do to the house, we still won't have a master on the main. I'll probably end up with that lovely hospital bed in the LR one of these days.
SSSHHHH!!!!!!
Very cute post....loved it. For the record, I've always found our homes....so truly, I'm the proof of your post. :) I won't say anything..mums the word.
Sure hope he doesn't read your blog here on AR the secret will be out of the bag. Good luck with the home upgrade. After the upgrade you won't want to move. ha, ha I understand we have been in our home for almost 40 years, we did an upgrade thinking we might put it on the market but after we finished we decided to stay. Yes, I climb the stairs every morning and every night.
Ceil Winters, Canyon Lake TX
Steve - I could never do that!
Karen- Thanks, and please keep it on the QT!
Ceil - He hasn't quite figured out what Active Rain is, so I think I'm safe.
My husband is always the last one to know we're moving, but I think he actually prefers it that way. Looking forward to seeing more of your pictures as you go forward.
We are also moving, but my husband doesn't know it. well rather he is in denial and does not think I am serious. I told him I was moving with our without him.
We should possibly all move with prices expected to drop another 20% why are we hanging onto our homes?? This is a great time to sell and downsize. Not negative, just the facts with the looming shadow inventory.
Patsy, After 19 years I am sure you will find more surprises. No worries – your secret is safe with me … I won’t tell your husband!
Patsy-love this, he should be the last to know...you will get all that you need done to list the home. Make him think you are staying forever. Clever strategy my friend.
Ladies, it sounds like you have all been there. Thanks for your support. It will probably hit him when the moving van pulls up.
Hi Patsy - do either of you have a "Life List" aka bucket list? Compare notes and see where you are headed together.
Are you planning to move locally or long distance?
I'm with you as far as ranch style with split bedroom floor plans as well. The caveman days are over in the basement and the upper floor are challenging to navigate when one ages and the bones begin to bark at you. Who is older...lol
My husband and I lived in our last house for 25 years. I knew at about year 20 that we were moving. He swore he was staying in that house until the day he died. Luckily I didn't have to kill him to get out of there. Every improvement we did...he thought was to make me happier so I would stay...I knew the improvements were in preparation of putting it on the market. We have been in our "new" home six years now...very happy, both of us....but I am already thinking it's time again to make a move.
Mums the word..I won't tell. But looking forward to seeing the photos as you move along in your "Move"...
Eileen - It will be a local move. Actually, I've found a ranch in foreclosure that has my name on it! Just can't get any info. from the bank, but that's another post for another day.
Sharon - Great story! It's obvious our husbands were twins separated at birth.
Mary Lou - Thanks for keeping it quiet!
He'll figure it out when the moving truck backs into the driveway. :)
Great story Patsy. Having moved MANY times, this time I too am set on not moving again, although I would like to have a house that I like. Sometimes I think that a retirement community with no exterior upkeep would be the way to go but I just can't imagine the move. Looking forward to your photos and more stories!
Hi Patsy, great twist, lobe the headline, very catching, looking forward to read more...
Patsy, Great post! I am with hubby though. Keep us posted! My wife would move every three years if I would tolerate it.....on second thought might be easier than cleaning the garage!
I, am a mover...plain and simple, I love to move, I love change, and fortunately, so does the hubs! Neither of us has ever lived more than 5 years in one house, in our entire lives, and that was TOGETHER! We are both military brats, and just got the moving bug as we grew up. Its over 40 times for me, not sure for him...When we bought our most recent house, 3 years ago, I knew there was lots I wanted to do to it. He was not aware of my list. He is now, it's almost finished. He has scraped every popcorn ceiling, painted every wall, replaced every sink, (including the kitchen!) every counter and vanity, every light fixture and doorknob, every closet door, and several floors have been tiled or "hardwood-ed". The clock is ticking, 3 years is a long time!Best of luck to you, and wish me luck, too!
Patsy- Can't believe I missed this post earlier. This was so cute and I can't wait for the updates. I've moved more times than I'd like to admit. Sometime I wished we'd been in a home for 19 years, like you. However, if we hadn't moved, I would not have met all of the wonderful people I did along the way. BTW, we have the same problem you do.... no master downstairs. Guess I'll pre-order that hospital bed!
Hi Patsy, LOL@ your comment on the hospital bed! Starting early is such a smart thing to do, it saves you from the panicked frenzied feeling when the day does come to move. Happy updating:)
Shar - That's what I'm thinking.
Ginger - it sounds like you and my hubby would make a great couple!
Barbara - Thank you! Stay tuned....
John - I honestly understand where you guys are coming from but, come one, we've been here 19 years! It will be 20 by the time the sign goes in the yard.
Cheryl - Good luck! I must say, I don't like change quite as much as you. A move every 5 years might be a bit much. Maybe 7-8 would be about right?
Kathy - Let's keep each other posted on the pricing we find for hospital beds. Sounds like we're both going to need one!
Cyndee - The longer I stage, the more I want my home to stay in a perpetual "market ready" mode. Now, if I could just find my "big girl panties..."
LO@you Patsy!!! I enjoyed out phone conversation immensely and am sorry we hadn't had a chance to talk sooner, you seem like my kinda gal :)